Review date:
12/30/2007
"With Love Stan personalizes the story of this man and the effect of that war on his family."
Sgt. Stanley Ross was one of more than 58,000 men killed in the Vietnam War. With Love Stan personalizes the story of this man and the effect of that war on his family.
Karen Ross Epp, his sister, has compiled many of his letters home. In total, they show us a self-described "Iowa farm boy," from his first days in basic training, progressing from a "new guy" to a hardened, decorated soldier. Included are tributes and reminiscences from his comrades, as well as explanatory text to tell us what was going on in his family at the time. Epp has been candid enough to describe even the stresses due to her marriage to a conscientious objector ( who served his obligation in a non-combat role), while conversely Stan was sent to Vietnam.
Included are some letters speaking of the unwinding done on "stand downs," but these only add to the picture of a 19-year-old, lonely and far from home. As well, they show us that Epp has chosen to show us other sides of Stan, without any effort to expurgate these intimate communications with family and friends.
Through it all, underneath he remains the Iowa farm boy; asking for an Instamatic camera, and his favorite chocolate chip cookies, sending his mother a custom-made bible, and tiny jacket for his younger brother Phill, all the while assuring them he was "ok" even when he wasn't.
What comes across is the banality of much of the life in Vietnam; periods with nothing to do, bad food, limited equipment and terribly harsh living conditions interspersed with dangerous confrontations with a wily and often underestimated enemy. Over time, you feel his anger.
"When I think of you back in the world (the states), everyone friendly, no one trying to kill you, or the constant worry of getting it next, it's almost hard to believe that there is such a wonderful land. The funny part of it is that 80% of the people over here don't even pack a weapon or even see action."
Chafing under the unfairness of the situation, with Infantryman staying on the front lines for weeks with no break, he wrote: "I heard there were over 350 men killed here last week. It makes me so damn mad, words can't express it. I wished to hell every one of those high-filluting (sic) government men would come over to this hell-hole one day."
And "Like I say, it's hard to explain the was it is. Just thank God you're in the wonderful U.S."
He was only on man, but his letters speak to the feelings and experiences of many.
Unfortunatley there is no happy ending to this story. Stan never got to ride the Harley his father bought for him, or see his little brother again. Stanley Ross died October 20, 1969. But he left behind a story we should all read, all the more relevant in light of our current "adventure" in Iraq, because those who ignore history are bound to repeat it.
Jeff Lowenthal
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